Four days till Christmas, and the tree is bear!

Still have not decorated the tree with ornaments.  Just lights, as a matter of fact we got our tree very late this year, as you see from this picture.  But the outside is decorated some, Michael had to keep busy. 

Just the lights 12-21-2012



I have my parents on my mind and my heart is heavy.    My father was going through a series of chemo and drug trials to see if it would arrest the cancer.  Towards midsummer we got the news that it had spread and was now metastatic and there was nothing else to be done.  So in November we drove up to my home town and we had 3 good days of talking with him and remembering the good ol' days and laughing.  I was prepared for the worst when I walked in the door but he did not look bad at all.  It wasn't until I hugged him that I noticed I could feel his shoulder blades.   I got confirmation on somethings that had been bothering me for years. 

 I asked my father for forgiveness for the dumb, stupid and sometimes hurtful things I did in past years. I also made the promise that I would keep in touch with my auntie Gert on a regular basis.  She will be the only child left of Peter & Ida Monteiro.  She was the baby and my dad always watched out for her growing up because she was always with him.  My father has chosen to die at home, where he is surrounded by familiar things, sounds and smells.  Where there is no noise from a busy hospital and so forth.  Where his loved ones can come an visit even if it is just to sit with him while he sleeps and hold his hand.  He has chosen to die with dignity. 

He said I have lived 86  yrs. and I have no regrets, I've lived a good life and when the man upstairs says it is time to go I will be ready.  He also said this to Michael and I "those you see crying at my funeral are the ones that would not come see me and forgive or release me when they had the chance."  Wow that was a powerful statement, and so like my father. 

He was a man of few words, he watched and listened and heard a lot.  When he did speak and share with you it was wisdom and knowledge that he gave to you.  For that I am forever grateful, there were times when I was older and would visit and stay overnight when he and I would watch the old movies with Clark Gable, Maureen O'Hara to name a few and just talk about things and it was great it is those times and the fond memories that I have that I will hold onto.  We did not say good -bye when we left no, I said "see you later", because I know I will and he and his sister Adeline  always said that.

I come from a strong family that has a rich history that I am able to share with my child and her family.  Words of love/life and encouragement,  because "we can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us."  I firmly believe that.  Well it is late and need to get some rest have been sick for a bit and today is actually the first day that I felt good and not feel sleepy all day!  Now it be time for Friday night movie with the hubby!